If you are reading this, you obviously know I have started a new blog. Our original blog http://www.yrock-squared.blogspot.com/ was first started when Ben and I married. Oringially intended to be a blog we both contributed to, it soon became my blog. I liked it that way. It was a great venue for me to share pictures of my family, recent news and events as well as the occasional deep thought (yes, I do have them every once in a while). At times I posted frequently and then at other times there would be significant gaps of time in between posts. Invariably, when life got hectic, blogging was the first thing to go.
However, with the recent birth of my second daughter, I have begun to feel the draw toward blogging again. I felt this would be the best time to truly venture out on my own. Start my own blog. One that right from the start is intended for me...just for me. Yes there may be stories, anecdotes and even the occasional picture of my family on this blog, but let's be honest you can see most of that on Facebook. The true intent for this blog is to share my life. To share my thoughts (deep or otherwise). Not a single soul may read this...and that's ok. This is a venue for me to get what is in my head out.
The title for this blog is something that has haunted me for a long time, and until recently I ran from. I am what some might call a perfectionist. I actually call myself an internal perfectionist. I rarely project my need for perfection onto others. Instead I focus it inward...on myself. I strive to give my all to everything I attempt. To control the situation. To be perfect. And if I were very honest, I am very hard on myself when I fall short. Which I often do...
I recall sitting with a good friend for hours discussing our "Control Freaks Annonymous" program/book we should develop as we were recovering control freaks/perfectionsist. We laughed and joked about how we could develop 12 steps similar to other rehabilitation programs, but in reality it wasn't funny...and we were only kidding ourselves that we were recovering.
The simple truth is, I have been imperfect all along, despite (or in spite of) any efforts of my own. I am slowly peeling away the layers to reveal a woman that often misses the beauty in the imperfections. And more importantly, forgets that there are others that might find encouragement to know someone else misses the mark, falls short and in general screws up from time to time.
My hope is that this blog will be very honest. Not just the good, but also the bad and the ugly. If you happen to be reading this, I hope you will stick with me as I attempt to accept my own inability to be perfect and allow God to truly smooth away my imperfections in His perfect time.
